We discussed a few points such as inserting a text box into my draft as a place to put a summary of the broader text of my friend's ordeal that would help the reader get a little background as to what led me to write about my topic that is the divide in hospital care. We also talked about my open ended questions in my introduction, and the risks associated with them.
I thought the main point of my draft was clear but perhaps it can be clarified a bit more. I tried not to shove too many facts into the paper, but it seems that after reading the peer review I may need to incorporate some more. I also need to finish the section about my mom and her recent treatment she received at Northwestern in Chicago.
The instructor feedback helped by giving me ideas on how to modify my draft to hammer out some of the sticking points as well as answer the questions I had about the positioning of my firsthand account in regard to my friend and his sickness. And the peer review helped me by seeing that the very account I put in about my friend is more useful than I had expected it to be.
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